Officially licensed
The P'nathi Bholes VS the Cats From Saturn
2010 Underworld Cup Gear
Black Phoenix Trading Post is a proud sponsor of the Carcosan Interdimensional Football Association Underworld Cup XXI Championship! Black Phoenix Trading Post: providing Underworld Cup uniforms, inter-dimensional transportation, and sacrificial offerings since 1926! This year, the gracious people of Leng will be hosting the Championship in the newly refurbished Unnamable Arena, Abbatoir, and Convention Centre!
All praises to the Crawling Chaos!
The long-favored Bholes, predictably, coasted through Group Ix'ua, picking up the maximum number of points. They smashed the Gugs 7-0 in the group phase, securing their position in the knockout round. Despite losing 0-4 to the Aldebaran Players in Yellow, a 3-3 draw with the Ghasts was enough to give the Cats a place in the Round of 16 in an extraordinary game in which two Cats were sent-off for second bookings, one for a third booking, and another Cat was accidentally eaten by a drunken Night-gaunt fan.
In the knockout round, the Sterile Lake's hopes ended when the Bholes were awarded a very controversial penalty deep into the remaining seconds of the match. The CIFA officials, led by the Tcho-Tcho Lama of Leng, allowed the Bholes' striker to burrow into the crust beneath the surface of the gaming field, popping up to score easily on the Lake's goalie.
In the semi-finals, Saturn defeated Ooth-Nargai 1-0 in one of the ugliest games in Underworld Cup history. It was a vicious, acrimonious match that led to a new Underworld Cup record with twenty-three yellow cards and seven players being dragged off the field to be sacrificed by the referee after the game.
A CIFA representative was quoted as saying, "We don't condone sacrificing players to Tsathoggua, and will be sternly reprimanding the referee."
The competition thus far has been fierce, and the Championship will surely not disappoint!
The Cats of Saturn, led by Coach Atal, and the P'nathi Bholes will go head to head for the coveted Silver Key (or Gazza'yl Sdoylek in R'lyehian). In the preliminary matches, the Bholes trumped the other teams with ease, while the Cats struggled until their victory over
Ooth-Nargi.
Once the proud sponsors of the Cats From Saturn, Crazy Kuranes Pest Control, LLC quickly withdrew their support of the Saturn team after the Cats goalie trounced and consumed fifteen investors at a shareholders' meeting while in a drunken stupor.
Will Crazy Kouranes' spite-driven sponsorship of the Bholes rally the Cats' effots? Or will it backfire?
How will the Cats fend off zoog thugs in the staduim during the match?
Will the power of the Cats' central midfielder's strike prevail over the team's propensity for near-fatal red cards?
Will the Bholes emerge victorious despite eating their coach during the second round of the semi-finals?
Can the wily wits of the Cats overcome the raw strength and gargantuan size of the Bholes?
Will the Ghouligans riot?
Will the Mi-Go appropriate the brains of the fans in the lower stands like they did during the playoffs in 1934?
The Cats From Saturn are sponsored by Plateau of Leng Pies: So good, they're known even in unknown Kadath.
DESICCATED FROSTBERRY PIE FILLING PERFUME OIL
Commemorating our Black-Ribbon Award Winning Pie Filling, named Best in Show at the Celephaïs County Fair six-hundred years in a row! Plucked from the highest mountaintops of Leng, our desiccated frostberries have been certified organic by the Dreamlands Department for Environmental Concerns, Slaughter Regulation, and Sacrificial Affairs.
.purchase 5ml.
$20.00US
CYKRANOSHIAN CATNIP PERFUME OIL
Nepeta zhothaqquah
This Saturnian herb possesses a deep mossy scent that, when crushed, emits a vapor redolent of woody oranges.
.purchase 5ml.
$20.00US
The P'nathi Bholes are sponsored by Crazy Kuranes' Patented Anti-Zoog Spray: Now available in the fresh, clean scent of Ngranekian Mountaintop!
CRAZY KURANES' PATENTED ANTI-ZOOG SPRAY
Atmospheric and linen mist.
Keep those nasty little zoogs at bay with our patented anti-zoog spray!
NOW IN EXTRA FRESH NGRANEKIAN MOUNTAINTOP SCENT!
The crisp mountain air mingles with the scent of Agokelrar Tree sap and phoruugrom blossoms in a blend that is vaguely reminiscent of a mixture of Earth's camellia, pink grapefruit, and verbena.
.purchase 4oz bottle.
$28.00US
Purchase a gear pack for your favorite team!
$59.00US
Each pack comes with a spirited tee (printed with the team and sponsor's logos for the Bholes and Cats, and with the Ghoul Hooligans artwork for the Ghouligans), an official Underworld Cup 2010 scarf, and a bottle of scent. The Bholes pack comes with a bottle of Mountain of Bone, the Cats pack comes with a bottle of Cykranoshian Catnip, and the Ghoul Hooligans comes with a bottle of self-titled stench!
Show your team spirit!
All of our tees have a reinforced neckband, and are made from pre-shrunk 100% ultrasoft and fluffy ring spun combed cotton. The babydolls have a gently tapered and relaxed body. Please note: the babydoll raglan tees are similar in style to the babydoll crew neck tees, but have a slightly slimmer fit. Team and sponsor logos by the Artist Not to be Described.
Purchasing a pack is five bucks cheaper than buying the gear individually! Each pack comes with stickers and buttons, too! Holy moly -- wotta steal!
Purchase P'nathi Bholes Fan Pack
Purchase Cats From Saturn Fan Pack
Purchase Ghoul Hooligans Riot Pack
Underworld Cup Scarf
The notorious Vale pub, and the bhole's favorite after-practise hangout. White wine spritzers with a dribble of ooze and a bone-speared thok fruit garnish.
Purchase Bholes Fan Pack
Please select your size and style at checkout. Bhole tees are available in crew small, medium, large, XL, XXL, 3X, and babydoll small, medium, large, XL, XXL. The babydolls are v-neck.
Underworld Cup Scarf
Nepeta zhothaqquah
This Saturnian herb possesses a deep mossy scent that, when crushed, emits a vapor redolent of woody oranges.
Purchase Cats Fan Pack
Please select your size and style at checkout. Cat tees are available in crew small, medium, large, XL, XXL, 3X, and babydoll small, medium, large, XL, XXL. The babydolls are v-neck.
Underworld Cup Scarf
The smell of smashed gourds and seventeen-thousand football-frenzied ghouls tanked up on
Kadathian Spiced Black Tar Cacao Lager.
Purchase Ghouligan Fan Pack
Please select your size and style at checkout. Ghouligan tees are available in crew small, medium, large, XL, XXL, 3X, and babydoll small, medium, large, XL, XXL. The babydolls are v-neck.
The Anti-Zoog Spray and the Desiccated Frostberry Pie Filling are only available individually.
The Bholes, Cats, and Ghouligans tees are also available on their own.
Please note that this is for the tee only, and does not include anything else.
Ghouligan tees are available in crew small, medium, large, XL, XXL, 3X, and babydoll small, medium, large, XL, XXL.
The babydolls are v-neck.
Please select your size and style at checkout.
$24.00 per tee.
Purchase P'nathi Bholes Tee Solo
Purchase Cats From Saturn Tee Solo
Purchase Ghoul Hooligans Tee Solo
Perfume Oil Blends
Presented in an amber apothecary bottle.
$20.00US per 5ml bottle.
DESICCATED FROSTBERRY PIE PERFUME OIL
Commemorating our Black-Ribbon Award Winning Pie Filling, named Best in Show at the Celephaïs County Fair six-hundred years in a row! Plucked from the highest mountaintops of Leng, our desiccated frostberries have been certified organic by the Dreamlands Department for Environmental Concerns, Slaughter Regulation, and Sacrificial Affairs.
Purchase Desiccated Frostberry Filling
CYKRANOSHIAN CATNIP PERFUME OIL
Nepeta zhothaqquah
This Saturnian herb possesses a deep mossy scent that, when crushed, emits a vapor redolent of woody oranges.
Purchase Cykranoshian Catnip
GHOUL HOOLIGAN PERFUME OIL
The smell of smashed gourds and seventeen-thousand football-frenzied ghouls tanked up on Kadathian Spiced Black Tar Cacao Lager.
Purchase Ghoul Hooligan
MOUNTAIN OF BONE PERFUME OIL
The notorious Vale pub, and the bhole's favorite after-practise hangout. White wine spritzers with a dribble of ooze and a bone-speared thok fruit garnish.
Purchase Mountain of Bone
Atmosphere and Linen Spray
$28.00US per 4oz spray bottle.
CRAZY KOURANES' PATENTED ANTI-ZOOG SPRAY
Keep those nasty little zoogs at bay with our patented anti-zoog spray! NOW IN EXTRA FRESH NGRANEKIAN MOUNTAINTOP SCENT! The crisp mountain air mingles with the scent of Agokelrar Tree sap and phoruugrom blossoms in a blend that is vaguely reminiscent of a mixture of Earth's camellia, pink grapefruit, and verbena.
Zoogs Begone!
Official Underworld Cup 2010 Memorabilia
$20.00US!
50" long x 6" wide!
Gen-u-ine 100% acrylic! Accept no imitations!
Purchase Underworld Cup Fan Scarf
The CIFA is dedicated to bridging the gap between the Elder Gods, Outer Gods, Other Gods, Great Old Ones, Great Ones, and their collective minions. Through good sportsmanship, camaraderie, and the spirit of fair play, the CIFA hopes to promote diversity, corruption, and mind-shattering depravity throughout the multiverse while gently extending the influence of the unfathomable, wailing alien entities that sit on their board of directors.
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